As a board member at ProductX – the largest product conference in Israel – I met last week with a guest speaker to prepare his talk at the upcoming conference. He is a marketing professor that taught one of the courses I took as part of my MBA, almost 20 years ago. 

We started with a chit-chat about what we have been up to since then. In my case, the MBA greatly contributed to the shift I made into product management. I specifically remember that I consulted with another marketing teacher there about what should my next career steps be, and he suggested “That I should try this thing called product management”. 

I told the professor that as I consulted with more people about the idea, some told me that “It was a difficult role and not for everyone”, but I decided to go for it anyway. The professor then stopped me and asked why is product management such a difficult role. It led nicely into our discussion about the target audience for his talk at the conference and the specific challenges they are facing.

So many years into product management, I agree that it is a very challenging role. The best in hi-tech in my opinion, but very challenging regardless. Part of the challenge is that we need to master so many skills, some of which seem to contradict each other: We need to be super analytical and stick to facts and results but also understand what moves people emotionally. We need to see things strategically and then master execution to the very last detail. We need to live in numbers and data but also have great people skills.

Another reason that product management is such a challenging role, especially as you grow into product leadership, is that the only way for us to deliver results is through the actions of other people. We constantly need to enroll others to follow us although we have no formal leadership there.

Furthermore, product leadership is mostly about thinking, and although it’s a profession that requires mastery, everyone seems to have an opinion on what the right thing to do is. 

Another challenge is that more often than not, the decisions we need to make are objectively complex and there is no clear answer. It truly is challenging.

And so, as product leaders, we find ourselves at the heart of many conflicts. Some of them are louder than others, but even when we all work together nicely there are conflicts between the desired outcomes to the feasible ones. Sometimes the conflict is entirely in our heads because even we haven’t determined what the right decision should be.

Within this world of conflicts and trade-offs, here is a simple tool that will help you think more clearly, get everyone on the same page, and position yourself as the leader that you are.

Get Out of the Loop

You should use this tool when you find yourself in a loop. There are many such loops in our professional lives:

It could be a complex idea that you are thinking about: Your product strategy, the org structure, how to approach a new functionality, or any other complex decision you need to make. In this case, the loop is in your head: Did you ever find yourself thinking hard but unable to make sense of things? Feeling that something is still missing and not everything falls into place? Unable to make up your mind about something? That’s the loop I’m talking about here.

The other type of loop is between you and other people – your colleagues, your manager(s), your employees, and even your customers. Entering these situations, you may or may not already know what you want the outcome to be, but others either don’t understand you or disagree with you. One way or the other, you can’t move forward without everyone on board.

The third type of loop is again with other people, but it’s not between you and them, it’s just that the group isn’t able to agree on what the right decision or next step is. Ever been to these discussions that seem to go nowhere, and not because people are saying important things, but because there doesn’t seem to be a good solution that everyone agrees on? This is it.

Now that you are aware of the kind of loops that you might run into, it will be much easier for you to identify when you entered one. That should be the trigger to stop and use the tool I suggest here.

Create a Summary

The tool is very simple: create a summary of what you know and/or agree on up until now, and what still needs to be determined.

For example, if you are working on your org structure (first type of loop), there might be anchors that you know you want to stick to – a certain area must have its own product manager, and you must have a separate product analytics group. Under what still needs to be determined you can write your concerns: How to maintain team independence and have a meaningful impact for each area. Write those down even if you don’t have answers.

For the second and third types of loops, you need to summarize what you and the team have agreed on up until now and what they are debating about. Sometimes it will be hard to find what you agree on in the heated discussion that tends to go to where you disagree. That’s part of why this tool is so powerful – it forces you to look at the bigger picture and shift the focus from what you disagree with each other to where you agree. It gives people something to align on and immediately puts them on the same side.

These summaries can be verbal or written. If the decision is small, or one you can make yourself and doesn’t need to be communicated too broadly, you can summarize it to yourself as part of your debate with yourself or summarize it to everyone as part of a discussion.

But if it’s something that needs to be shared broadly or a very complex matter, I highly recommend creating a written summary. Writing in and of itself helps you sort out your thinking, since you can’t have vague thoughts running in your head, you need specific words to be written on the page. It also helps since you can read it later, and see if you missed anything. And of course, it’s a great way to spread your thoughts clearly and concisely.

Debate It With Others

If you are in loops with other people, it’s important for them to hear or read this summary, and it’s important that you discuss it with them. 

It has so many benefits: Once you have sorted out your own thoughts by creating the summary, the people who hear it will be able to sort out their own thoughts accordingly. Some of what you say will make perfect sense to them, and it will help them articulate what they already thought in your own words. Other parts might not be so accurate in their view, but it is still much easier to understand what you disagree with when you have a claim in front of you.

If you created a good summary – one that includes what they had said and not just your own thoughts – they will also know that you listen to them, and can help you understand them better if they feel you didn’t fully understand. Again, it immediately puts you on the same side of things.

Remember that it’s the process that makes you stronger. You don’t start with a full agreement – that’s what created the loop to begin with. But to get everyone aligned eventually, you want to call out explicitly where you disagree so you can discuss it and build the agreement and alignment as you go.

Create a Common Language and Structure

A good summary also serves as an anchor. You can always return to where you last agreed on. You can dive deep into certain topics and then see how they fit into the bigger picture. If diving deeper means that you enter another loop, the summary that you created allows you to get out of it and see things from a different perspective.

Often, a good summary easily leads to the next steps. This can be a good way to end a discussion – by summarizing where you are at and what the open questions are. Now that the questions are clear you might want to work on them before the next meeting to make the discussion more productive. 

In other cases, even in the first type of loop, you will find questions that you can’t answer and are important for the decision to be made, so you can understand what research you need to make before you can move on.

Moreover, a summary that everyone can relate to starts creating a common language in the company. You are framing things in a certain way, and people start speaking this new language (assuming it makes sense).

Summaries are a very powerful leadership tool. You are the one that helps everyone decide, even if you don’t make the decision yourself. You are the one that creates the new language that everyone speaks, even if it becomes so natural (which it will if you do it well) that no one remembers it was ever different.

These things are so valuable to the company that if you keep doing them people will quickly realize that you better be in the room where decisions are made, even if it’s not your call to make.