2023 was a rough year on multiple fronts. The economic downturn, the fight against the suggested judicial reform in Israel, and then of course the war.

As I was listening to a podcast episode summarizing the year with what we had learned, I thought about what my lesson was. 

My conclusion was that the best lesson I learned this year was about the importance of looking reality in the eye and acting as quickly as possible.

I made quite a few changes this year. Some were good and some were bad. Some were timely and others took too long to complete. But given everything we went through (the objective reality which I couldn’t change), when I look at the outcome I’m quite pleased with how I reacted to it. 

When the economic downturn started, I thought I would survive it without changing much. My business was ready for a few tough months, and we were fine. In a way, I didn’t want to make major changes – as I’m guessing most people would. It was only much later that I realized that I couldn’t ignore reality anymore. Reality always wins over our desires that things will be different.

I’ll give you an example from another domain:

As I was walking in Tel-Aviv the other day, I saw this amazing example of actually dealing with undesired reality. This is probably the main boulevard of Tel-Aviv (Rothschild Blvd.). It is wide and has a lot of walking and biking space on it. It also has many crosswalks for people to cross the road safely.

However, as it happens in Tel-Aviv, people cross the road wherever they want, whether or not a crosswalk is available.

I was looking to do the same thing (Shh… don’t tell anyone!) when I realized that someone in Tel-Aviv municipality actually thought of it in advance. Despite the fact that there was no crosswalk on its other side, there was a paved path from the boulevard itself and into the road.

The path right into the road in central Tel-Aviv. Dealing with reality as it is.

Looking at it as is, it looks weird. It is a path into the middle of the road! But when you realize that people will be crossing there anyway — whether you like it or not — it is probably better to have them do it in a dedicated place. Whether they wanted to protect the grass, or simply to somehow still control where people are crossing — that I don’t know. But they knew their audience and created something that works with reality and not against it.

So what do you need to do in order to deal with reality, even if it’s not the reality you were hoping for? Here are a few steps that will take you there.

Step #1: Make Yourself Aware

To be able to deal with reality, you must know what it is and understand when it changes. Keeping a close eye on reality can be done in many ways, depending on the reality you want to stay close to. 

For example, if you are looking at business results or product performance, there are many KPIs that you can track regularly. I recommend defining the KPIs in advance, not just when things get rough, for a number of reasons: first, defining them well and building the actual monitoring system or dashboard (even if it’s a simple spreadsheet) takes time. Second, you want to collect a benchmark when things are working well in order to know when things are going the wrong way. And third, because when you are in the middle of a fight it’s hard to think clearly about what a good outcome would be.

But making yourself aware of reality isn’t limited only to hard facts and numbers. It’s a mistake I see many people make in an attempt to become data-driven. Listening carefully to what your customers are saying (and not saying) when they talk to you, how willingly they are working with you and other softer signals are as important. Sometimes they are even more important than the hard facts, primarily since they can be a leading indicator of what’s coming.

For example, if a potential customer isn’t engaging with you happily and easily, it shouldn’t come as a surprise if they decide not to work with you eventually. You don’t need to wait for the numbers to get the gut feeling of what’s going on.

Step #2: Acknowledge It Even if It’s Not What You Expected

Many times we refuse to see what is happening (even if the facts are clear) because we expected something else. Unfortunately, that in and of itself doesn’t change anything – if only ignoring a bad reality could make it go away we would be living a happy and peaceful life. The first step in changing a reality that you don’t like is acknowledging it.

Calling out that something isn’t working as expected is never easy, especially if it was you who got us there. But it is a must if you want to get things to work. Sometimes, like I tried to do initially, you see that something bad is happening but you believe it will pass soon, so you are reluctant to change anything. 

But it’s not the action that matters at this point, it’s the willingness to take one if needed. There is a great difference between seeing that reality is changing, hoping that it will return to normal soon, and thus doing nothing, and acknowledging that reality is changing, and considering logically where it can go and what are your options. It makes a huge difference if you go with the latter, even if the immediate outcome is the same – do nothing (for now).

The difference is that in the latter you understand why you made this decision, and what is the risk that comes with that. You can consider whether it’s a risk you are willing to take, and set measurements that would help you understand when it’s no longer the case. For example, you can decide that for now, you are not changing anything, or perhaps making small changes that you needed to make anyway, but if the revenue or conversion rates go below a certain threshold you are going to take action. Furthermore, if you do this right, you will know which action you are going to take, and have a clear view of how this will help you.

To be able to see things clearly you might need to take a step back from the day-to-day grind, as well as put aside the role of the person who created the product or led us to this situation to begin with. For example, if you look at it through the eyes of the product leader who created a product that is now in a poor business condition, you are often too involved to look at it objectively. But since you are often the one who created this, here is a quick question that can help you see things differently: ask yourself “If I hired someone else to tell me what they see here, what would they say?” This simple question opens your brain to radical honesty which is not so easy to achieve. 

As for disconnecting yourself from the daily grind – try to take some time off to think about things clearly. I made the really hard decisions during a business trip to New York. It was only looking at things from a distance that allowed me to truly acknowledge that major changes needed to be made. If you can’t afford too much time off, even one day would do. Take a day in a different location, ideally outdoors, to let your thoughts flow and reality sink in.

Step #3: Change What Needs to Be Changed

At this point, the hardest parts of the work are done. Once you understand that things are not working as expected, it’s time to think about what to do – and there you probably already know what to do. Perhaps all the options that come to mind at first are not good enough, but you now understand what needs to be changed and what constraints you live in. You can consult with your colleagues or even external advisors to find the best path forward. You might not be able to find the answers quickly or easily, but mentally you have gone through the toughest barrier already. You are in action.

You can decide to go with reality as in the Tel-Aviv example I gave here, or to try and change it.

For example, you can decide that a certain market segment that you were hoping to succeed in doesn’t work, and you need to pivot. You can decide that if potential customers are trying to take you in a direction you weren’t intending to go, perhaps that’s what the market really needs and you need to go there. You can decide that your team isn’t performing as well as you need them to and invest in coaching and performance improvement plans.

There is no right answer and each case should be considered on its own.But one thing is clear: you can’t change what you don’t know that is happening. Make sure you are brutally honest with yourself to be able to make a real difference.